My Dear Lab Partner
by PrincessRose1
Summary: Not Another Generation Fic 2. When Daichi discovers a new rival in love, can he defeat him and win Lotion's heart without getting pulverized? Maybe if he survives Ranma's training first.
1. My Dear Lab Partner

**NOT ANOTHER GENERATION FIC 2**

Second story! Whoo! Yeah, I decided to go ahead and post it. This is the second story in the Not Another Generation Fic series. It would probably be in your best interest to go back and read the first story before this one so you understand everything that's going on. But, super short recap, Iikiba got tired of Makoto bothering him Jatsuma defeating him all the time so he went on a training journey. Somehow he ended up in China where he accidentally got in engaged to an Amazon named Mascara. Makoto followed after him and tried to break it up and in the process they all got Jusenkyo curses. Iikiba turns into a chihuahua, Makoto turns into a monkey, and Mascara a frog. When they finally got back to Nerima Jatsuma accidentally defeated Mascara as well and it is still unresolved as to who Mascara will marry. Okay, so that wasn't so super short after all.

Disclaimer: Once again I don't own Ranma ½, just the original character and storyline. Not that I could sue someone if they stole it, it's not like I went to the courthouse and put a copyright on them. Can I do that with a fanfic? Probably not, but that would be cool! But don't steal it anyway! Not that anyone would, that would be mean and cause me to do some serious flaming and trolling.

**MY DEAR LAB PARTNER**

A flash of lightening. Someone hunches over a beaker of bubbling concoction, meticulously adding ingredients and cackling to herself. A glow from the unknown potion reflects off the mad scientist's protective goggles and white lab coat. The dark camber fills with hushed murmurs as the darkness closes in around the figure.

"It is complete!" The scientist held the vial of blue potion over her head. "BWAH HA HA HA HA HA! Igor, the lights!"

And with that the lights flipped on to reveal a classroom full of thoroughly weirded out teenagers. "Ms. Meadows, I told you not to call me that!" A boy complained from his desk positioned next to the light switch.

"And that, class, is how you make a Bromothymol solution!" Ms. Meadows said as she pulled her goggles off her eyes. "Sorry Iggi, I keep forgetting."

She turned back to her class with a big smile on her face. "Alright then, everyone copy down the notes I have written on the board for you. Chop, chop! We've still got something else to do before class ends!"

The sounds of paper and pens shuffling erupted as the students began to copy the notes. The classroom was set up so that two people could sit at an island table with their own beaker set and Bunsen burner. There were about ten of these tables.

"EEIIAH!" A loud scream and crash rang from the back of the room.

"DUCK AND COVER!" Ms. Meadows grabbed the fire extinguisher without hesitation and drop-rolled to the back of the class. "STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

"IT'S OKAY! It's okay Ms. Meadows! I just fell out of my seat!" Daichi got up from the floor, rubbing his head.

"Oh, it's you Daichi." She said, apparently disappointed. "Do try to stay in your seat."

"I will." He sat back down…only to slip off on the other side. These stools just weren't made for him.

The whole class started laughing loudly, including Ms. Meadows. "Oh, Daichi! You really are too much!" She waved her hand passively and returned to the front of the room.

Daichi blushed from embarrassment. Lotion had turned around to look back at him; she was sitting at the front of the class. _I don't need Yuri to sabotage me. I do it just fine on my own._ He though.

He sat his stool back up again and tried to sit down more carefully. But he was losing his balance again. The guy sitting at the table with him caught his arm to steady him.

"Dude, come on. Get a hold of yourself." The boy let him go and rolled his eyes.

"Geez, sor-ry." Daichi said, irritated. But at least he could sit up straight now. He pulled his notebook closer and began taking the notes.

A few minutes later he had finished so he chanced a glance at Lotion. She was resting her head on her hand and staring off into space. She yawned. _She's cute when she yawns._ Daichi sighed happily.

"Alright everyone!" Ms. Meadows regained their attention. "It is time. BWAH HA HA HA! Aha…hm." She coughed in her hand. "Time to choose lab partners!"

All the students immediately started sliding closer to their friends.

"Which you won't be doing because I have taken the liberty of assigning your partners!"

The class groaned and broke out in protests. But Daichi looked up hopefully. There was always the slightest, _slightest_ chance he would be paired with Lotion as a lab partner. It was kind of a daydream he had been having since he had signed up to take this class. Of course, Ms. Meadows hadn't paired them up together on any of their other projects. But he couldn't help but hope for it.

Ms. Meadows clapped her hands together. "Alrighty then! Groups of two. Let's see…Luffa and Iggi."

"I demand a reassignment!" Luffa shouted.

"Chk chk." Iggi smiled, winked and pointed a finger at Luffa.

Ms. Meadows continued handing out partners and the number of people left for Daichi to be partnered with was quickly dwindling. "There's almost no one left." Daichi whispered to himself.

The people left went down and down and down until there really was no one left for him to be partnered with! It was just him and Lotion! They could go out to eat every night and work on their project! Lotion would laugh at his jokes and start to think he was cute, and then they would keep going out long after the project was finished! Then Lotion would come to realize her true feelings and they would kiss for the first time on a starry night when the snow was falling!

"And Daichi with Setsuko."

"YES!" Daichi jumped out of his chair, drawing the attention of everyone in class yet again. "Wait. What?"

"Your partner is Setsuko, dear." Ms. Meadows repeated.

"I'd be happy to have Setsuko as a partner too." Luffa scoffed. "He's really smart."

"But…but!" Daichi couldn't seem to form a sentence.

Just then the bell rang for class change.

"Whoops! Looks like time just ran away with us! You have one week to finish your group projects on the acidity of household products!" Ms. Meadows called as the students quickly filed out the door.

"Ms. Meadows! You must have made a mistake!" Daichi ran to the front of the classroom, trying not to get tangled in his backpack as he slung it over his shoulder. "Lotion didn't get a partner!"

"Oh yes! Thank you for reminding me Daichi. Lotion, could I have a word with you?" Ms. Meadows motioned for her to come over.

Lotion turned around and came back. Daichi attempted to camouflage with the wall.

"Yes, Ms. Meadows I had wanted to ask about partners." Lotion said.

"Well since there's an odd number of students in the class and since you are my best student, I was wondering if you would mind doing the project on your own. Is that alright dear?"

"Oh! Of course!" Lotion didn't seem upset about having to do all her own work. In fact she was rather flattered. "That's no problem at all Ms. Meadows! Don't even worry about it."

"Hey Lotion!" A boy walked up, having just finished packing up. He had short wavy brown hair and was wearing a pair of glasses. Daichi knew him only by sight.

"Hi Setsuko! Daichi, you guys are partners right?" Lotion asked.

"Uhhhh…yeah, I guess so." Daichi finally managed to say.

"I think you two will really get along. Setsuko is really good in Chemistry; we worked together at the science fair a few months back." Lotion continued.

"Great." Daichi said, crestfallen. So close. He had been so close to getting Lotion as his lab partner. And now he had this nerd instead.

"I don't think we've meet." Setsuko stuck out his hand. "Setsuko Sato."

"Oh. Daichi Saotome." He shook hands with Setsuko. Somehow he felt like he was entering into a binding contract.

"You kids better run along!" Ms. Meadows urged. "You're going to be late for your next class."

Daichi rushed out of the classroom as quickly as he could, even though he got the feeling Setsuko wanted to talk to him more. Daichi sighed; he just couldn't shake the feeling that his perfect romance had been snatched away from him.

He had to make a mad dash halfway across the school to get to his locker so he could put his books away before gym.

"Damn it! Why do they have to make these darn books so heavy?" Daichi cursed as he fell down a flight of stairs. Falling down stairs was normal for him. It was a good day when he only fell down stairs twice and a great day if he only tripped ten times.

Daichi had always been clumsy. His dad, Ranma, insisted that it was his mother, Akane's, genetic clumsiness. But Daichi had the sneaking suspension that one of his grandfathers had dropped him on his head as a baby and thrown off his center of balance.

Whatever the reason, Daichi knew he would never be an accomplished martial artist. That was fine with him, but his dad was another matter. Daichi had always been expected to carry on the dojo and the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Daichi was smart enough to know that was never going to happen, but he did have to put up with a lot of his father's failed attempts to train him for it.

He reached the hall with his locker. Some people were standing around chatting. A boy and girl were also making out in front of his locker.

"Move." Daichi growled.

The couple glared at him and went on their way. Daichi quickly put in his combination and opened his locker. Only to have a bunch of books fall out on him.

"AAHH!" Daichi had just enough time to yell before he was hit.

Everyone in the hallway started laughing. But just then the bell rang so everyone started making their way towards their classes. Daichi sat there until the hall was clear. He knew he would be late but he didn't care right now.

"Why does this keep happening?" He yelled as he sat up. "I know I arranged those books so they wouldn't fall again!" He stood up and that was when he realized…

"What the?" The books and papers were sticking to him. He pulled a paper off his arm but it stuck to his hand. Then he tried to pull a book off his head but it was stuck in his hair! "What's going on?"

No matter what he did the books and paper only stuck somewhere else or were cemented in place. They were all covered in something sticky.

"You seem to be having trouble." Someone said. Daichi felt a horrible cold chill run down his spine.

"AH! Yuri!" Daichi jumped back as Yuri came down the hallway, carried in her feudal style carrier by her entourage or fan boys.

"You really should keep your books cleaner." She smirked. This was her doing.

"Uh-huh." He was sure to keep at least five feet between them.

"Spear, please give Daichi a towel to clean up with." Yuri instructed. On of the fan boys ran out and shoved a pink towel into Daichi's hands.

"We are almost late so lets be on our way." Yuri said. The fan boys trotted on their way. "Farewell Daichi."

Daichi waited until they were gone before shaking his hand. The towel had stuck to it of course; it was also laced with the same kind of invisible super glue.

Just then the final bell rang. "Oh crap!" Daichi tried to make a run for the gym but accidentally stepped on the bottom of the towel and tripped.

"GAH! I'm late!" He tried to stand up but the towel was intertwined in his legs now and the book on his head had made the landing extra painful. It was then that he realized he couldn't stand up. He tried to roll but the towel was stuck to the floor too.

"Well, only one thing left to do." Daichi said. He took a deep breath. "HHEEELLPPP!"

_LATER IN THE INFIRMARY_

"You're lucky we didn't have to shave your head to get that glue out." The nurse said.

After soaking his head for about an hour they were able to remove the book from Daichi's head and wash most of the glue out. The nurse had had to call in the janitor to help her cut away the towel, along with most of his pants legs. In the end they just decided it would just be better for him to take his clothes off.

So that was why Daichi was sitting on one of the infirmary beds wearing a school robe and also why the aggravated nurse was scrubbing off the remaining glue residue from his arm.

"Honestly, high school students should know better than to pull such juvenile pranks." The nurse said.

"Have you even met a high school student?" Daichi asked.

"Don't get smart with me. I think we have some extra uniforms at the school store." She sat down her scrubber and stood up. "I'll pop down there and get you one, seeing as you wouldn't want to go out dressed as you are. I'll be back soon. Remember, no one's allowed in here unless they're sick." She walked out the door.

Daichi sighed. He had already missed two classes and lunch. It hardly seemed worth it to go back to class. That was when he heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, Daichi!" Jatsuma stuck his head in the door. "I heard you were in a _sticky _situation!" He laughed at his own wit.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious." Daichi said sarcastically. But he couldn't help smiling. "How long have been waiting to say that?"

"What? You think I have nothing better to do than come up with witty one-liners during English?" Jatsuma came on into the infirmary and looked around. "Where's the nurse?"

"She went to get me another uniform. They had to cut mine off to get to that stupid glue off! How did you know I was up here anyway?"

"Yuri was bragging during lunch."

Daichi snorted. "Figures. I can never get a moment's peace because of her!"

"Yes, she's evil, a pure devil, blah blah blah. I just thought you ought to know that Coach Oshiro a wants you to make up the twenty laps we did today."

Daichi groaned and fell back on his pillow. "God hates me. Those laps are going to take me four times as long as you guys!"

"No, I think it's Oshiro who hates you." Jatsuma smirked. "But all Oshiro and Yuri disasters aside…how was your day?"

Daichi raised an eyebrow. "How was my day? How was the one period I attended before I was covered in glue and sent to the infirmary?"

"Yes."

"Since when do you care how my day was?" Daichi said.

"What? Can't a brother ask his brother how his day was without being insulted?" Jatsuma asked, acting offended. They were silent for a moment. "Did you get Lotion as your partner or not!" Jatsuma yelled.

"Okay, putting aside how you even knew about that, no I didn't." Daichi said in a more sober tone.

"Aw-well." Jatsuma shrugged. "Better luck next time."

"What's going on here?" The nurse walked in carrying a uniform. "No one is allowed in here unless they're sick!"

"Does sick of school count?" Jatsuma asked.

The nurse put a finger on her temple. "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one."

"Jatsuma, maybe if you paid attention in English then you would have something better to say than clichéd jokes." Daichi said.

"Sorry, I got to be going Leno. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" Jatsuma left the infirmary.

"Honestly!" The nurse said. Daichi laughed.

* * *

R&R. You know the drill. 


	2. Setsuko

Setsuko is a girl's name? GAK! Really? I could have sworn I read somewhere that it could be used for either sex, but now I can't find where that was! I'm in quite a pickle because I don't want to change his name. In my head his name is Setsuko. It would be hard for me to adjust if I changed his name. Let's just say his parents wanted a girl. But would that be too weird? Like calling a guy Megan or something? I'd rather keep his name the way it is but if it really bothers everybody, let me know.

**SETSUKO**

Daichi was released from the infirmary just in time for history. Hoo-rah. This meant having to sit through a long drawn out lecture on some ancient war and trying to take notes. Not exactly fun. By the time the class was over Daichi could feel his hand cramping up on top of everything else. He just wanted this day to end so he could go home and go to bed.

"Hey Daichi!" Someone called.

Daichi looked around and saw Lotion running down the hall towards him. He could feel his heart beat speeding up. Had she heard about the glue incident? Was she going to give him advice on his project? Did she just want to say hi?

Then suddenly Lotion was next to him. "GAH!" Daichi shouted in surprise as he fell over and his books went flying.

"Are you okay?" Lotion asked.

"Yeah! Super!" Daichi stood up stiffly. "Just an uh…untied shoelace." He laughed nervously. "Wha…what did you want to say?"

"Oh I was just walking down the hall and thought I'd say hi."

Daichi smiled in utter bliss. _She wanted to say hi! To me!_

"Well, I gotta go." Lotion began walking on her way. "See you after school!"

Daichi waved. "Yeah, see you…" He blinked. "After school?"

"We're walking home together, right? We're meeting out front at the gate." Lotion continued.

"Oh…ah, okay!"

"Great! Bye!" Lotion continued on her way, not wanting to be late.

A large grin slowly broke out on Daichi's face. "We're walking home together. We're walking home together!" He threw his arms in the air and fell to his knees. "WE'RE WALKING HOME TOGETHER! HA HA!"

Everyone in the hallway stared. But Daichi didn't care. He stood up and skipped along, completely forgetting his books. A few moments later he saw Jatsuma walking down the hall with a cute girl.

"Jatsuma!" Daichi ran forward and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "We're walking home together!"

Jatsuma raised and eyebrow. "Don't we always walk home together?" The girl edged away from Daichi, clearly thinking he was crazy.

"Not you! Lotion!" Daichi released him. "She asked me to walk home with her!"

"She did? Really?"

Daichi narrowed his eyes. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Geez, I was just asking. No need to be so touchy." Jatsuma said.

"I'm not touchy, I'm just excited!" Daichi said happily. "Maybe we'll go out to eat together! Lotion will laugh at my jokes and start to think I'm cute, and…are you even listening?"

Jatsuma looked back at him "Hm? Yeah, jokes. Got it."

Daichi sighed and put a finger on his temple.

Just then the bell rang. "Oh no! I can't afford to miss anymore classes! See you at home Jatsuma!" Daichi took off.

Jatsuma waited until he was gone before turning to the girl. "Sorry about him. He's a little…" He stuck out his tongue and waved his finger in a circle next to his head. The girl giggled.

Math was Daichi's last class of the day. He was halfway there before he remembered he had left his books lying in the hall, so he ran back to get them and made it to class only a second before the bell rang.

"Everyone please take out your number two pencils and do the work on your desk." The teacher instructed.

Daichi worked through it quickly and then stared at the clock. He had never been so eager for school to get out. There wasn't anything that could break the mood of utter bliss he was in!

The bell rang. Daichi jumped out of his desk and fell over. "EEAH!" The other students filed past him out into the hall.

"Let me give you a hand." Someone held out their hand and Daichi took it, it was Setsuko. He helped pull Daichi to his feet.

"Thanks." Daichi began to throw his stuff into his school bag in a hurry.

"I meant to ask you earlier but you weren't around," Setsuko said. "I thought that we could meet up after school and talk about our project."

"Sorry, I can't." Daichi stood up with his bag in tow. "Lotion and I are walking home together! So I'll see you around. We can work on it later!" Daichi said as he walked out the door in a rush.

"But…" Setsuko started, but Daichi was already gone. He shrugged, grabbed his own bag and walked after him.

_IN THE SCHOOLYARD_

"You're walking home with him?" Luffa asked, flabbergasted. "Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?" She followed her sister across the schoolyard to the front gate.

Lotion rolled her eyes. "You are blowing this way out of proportion."

"Am I?" Luffa asked with narrowed eyes. "If you two start hang around together people are going to talk."

"I still don't see what the crisis is. Beside, it's not like we're going to be alone or anything."

"Well I still-"

"Lotion!" Daichi came tripping and stumbling through the crowd of students. "I'm here!" He fell down at their feet.

"Good luck." Luffa sighed as she walked off.

"What was that about?" Daichi asked as he watched her go.

"She's just worried about Setsuko." Lotion said. "It's really nothing at all."

"Oh, well…uh…" He started to blush as he stood up. "I'm ready to get going."

"Great."

"So, uh…I guess we should be…heading out."

"Shouldn't we wait a little while?"

"Yeah! Sure! We don't have to leave yet! We can leave whenever you want!" Daichi said franticly.

"O…kay." Lotion raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm great! Never been better!" Daichi said in a high voice.

"Hi guys!" Setsuko came walking through the crowd towards them. "You two sure got down here fast."

"Ready to go Setsuko?" Lotion asked.

"Huh?" Daichi looked around at Setsuko.

"Yeah. Daichi, you ran off before I got a chance to ask you if you wanted to walk home with Lotion and me. But I guess Lotion already told you."

"Oh…uh…yeah." It slowly dawned on Daichi that Lotion hadn't asked him to walk home with her at all. She had just thought that Setsuko had already asked him. Setsuko was going to walk with them.

The only thing he could do was try to retain a little dignity. "Let's go." He said in a cracked voice as he started to walk ahead.

After awhile Daichi fell back and walked with the other two. But they kept chatting about that stupid science fair. Daichi couldn't help but feel like a third wheel…and that irritated him.

"I still can't believe you didn't win." Setsuko said. "Your study on animal behavior was really brilliant! Those judges must have been blind!"

"I still got second place." Lotion said, flattered.

"But the presentation that won first place was so stupid. Teeth enamel? I mean really?"

Lotion laughed. Daichi snorted. How long could they go on about that?

"Here's my stop." Lotion said as they neared the Cat Café. "Thank you for walking me home guys."

"You're welcome!" Daichi said quickly before Setsuko could say anything.

"Think nothing of it." Setsuko said.

"Bye! See you at school tomorrow!" Lotion started to walk into the café.

"Lotion! Where you been? We have a packed house!" Shampoo yelled from inside.

"It's 'Where _have_ you been?' Mom! 'Where _have_ you been!'" Lotion ran into the restaurant.

Daichi and Setsuko both sighed heavily. Daichi blinked twice and looked at Setsuko.

"She really is very cute. Isn't she?" Setsuko said.

Daichi suddenly felt like he had been hit by a blot of lightening. His eye twitched badly. "What are you asking me for?" He grunted.

"I wasn't asking. I was just," Setsuko turned to Daichi with a threatening look in his eye. "commenting."

"Ah…" Daichi was lost for words. He backed away two steps; Setsuko's glare was accompanied by a strong fighting aura.

Suddenly Setsuko was pleasant again. "I guess you don't want to work on our project right now after all." He started walking down the street. "We'll work on it later. Bye Daichi."

Daichi watched him go. He felt like there was a brick in his stomach. "I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

Yay! Second chapter! The ones after this are a bit more action packed. 


	3. Don't Let Love Triangles Get You Down!

I just saw the world premier of a play called Brother Wolf a few days ago. OH MY GOSH! It is like a great fantasy novel set in the rural mountains and based on Beowulf! I'm such a sucker for a good fantasy novel. Brother Wolf has monster fights, romance, tragedy, humor, and a moral lesson to boot! I would highly recommend it. Yeah… sometimes these author's notes are random.

**DON'T LET LOVE TRIANGLES GET YOU DOWN!**

Daichi slammed the door shut behind him as he entered the Tendo Dojo. He kicked off his shoes, threw down his bag and stomped down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Hi Daichi. How was school?" Akane asked as she took a pan of what looked like smoldering ash from the oven.

"Miserable." He groaned. "And not the normal miserable."

"Why? What happened?"

"I got Setsuko for my project partner instead of Lotion! She's working on her project alone! If Setsuko is so smart why doesn't he work alone?" Daichi said as he got the bread and peanut butter out of the cabinet.

"Then Yuri had to pull another stupid prank on me! I spent half the day in the infirmary!" He opened the refrigerator and got the jelly. "I mean is it too much to ask for a little peace?"

He started throwing together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Then I thought Lotion and I were walking home together, but Setsuko was coming too!" He slammed the top piece of bread on. "And I HATE that guy!"

Daichi sighed. "Thanks for listening Mom. I feel a little better." He took his sandwich and left the room.

Akane scratched her head. "Oh…no problem." She smiled. "Who said raising kids would be hard?"

Akane took one of the smoldering cookies off her pan and popped it in her mouth. Then she made a face and turned a slight shade of green. "Ack!" She spit it into a napkin. "Darn it! Why can't I get this?"

_IN THE DINNING ROOM_

Jatsuma sat at the table munching on crackers and watching a TV show. He looked up when Daichi came in. "Hey! How'd it go?"

"It didn't." Daichi said, sitting down. "It wasn't like that at all. Setsuko was there too."

"Oh sorry man."

"Yeah." Daichi was silent for a moment. "SETSUKO LIKES LOTION!" Jatsuma fell back.

"They were talking about the science fair the whole way! Then Setsuko glared at me like I was intruding or something!"

Jatsuma sat up, frazzled. "Well uh…"He scratched his head. "That doesn't necessarily mean he likes her."

"He said she was cute!"

"Oh." Jatsuma thought a moment. "Well…there's lots of other fish in the sea!" He smiled.

Daichi groaned and slammed his head on the table.

Jatsuma looked at him for a second. "Are you gonna eat that?" He pointed to the sandwich.

"You are so unhelpful!" Daichi grabbed his sandwich and took a bite of it.

"Hey!"

Just then there was a sound from outside that sounded like a bomb going off.

"What the?" Jatsuma opened the screen door.

"Come back right now!" Mascara ran across the yard with her swords bared. Makoto and Iikiba ran ahead of her. Or rather, Makoto ran and dragged Iikiba along by the back of his shirt. There was a hole in the wall were they had plowed through.

"Damn it Makoto!" Iikiba scrapped his feet across the ground, trying to stop her. "Let go of me!"

"Stop being stupid! I'm trying to help!" Makoto said.

"How is this helping?" Iikiba yelled.

Makoto scowled. "Okay, have it your way!" She let him go.

"Thank you." Iikiba stood up angrily.

"Iikiba!" Mascara ran forward.

"Mascara!"

"I knew you would marry me!" She leapt forward.

Iikiba did a complete turnaround and ran the other way at top speed. "I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" He made another hole in the wall as he ran off.

Mascara landed. "Where are you going?"

Suddenly Makoto grabbed Mascara by the shoulders and steered/pushed her towards the house. "Hi guys!" She called.

Mascara looked around. "Jatsuma!" She blushed furiously. Makoto let go of her and ran after Iikiba.

"Hi Mascara!" Jatsuma said enthusiastically. "You're looking particularly lovely today." Daichi rolled his eyes.

Mascara covered her cheeks with her hands and giggled.

"So how's your new job going?"

"Oh it's going good." She said happily. "Actually I'm supposed to be delivering food right now. But I had to…" She blinked and glared after Makoto. "That was a dirty trick!"

Just then Makoto walked back into the yard looking irritated. "I lost him."

"You lost him?" Mascara yelled. "Well which way did he go?"

"If I knew that then I wouldn't have lost him!"

"Well then I'll find him!" Mascara ran off out the last hole Iikiba had made.

Once she was gone Makoto smiled and opened up her school bag, in which she was carrying a little black chihuahua dog with a red bandana around its neck. "Too easy."

Iikiba the chihuahua glared at her. "What? Don't give me that look." She said.

"That was quite diabolical." Jatsuma said proudly. "Our little girl's growing up!"

"Well what choice do I have?" Makoto walked over to the porch and into the dinning room. "Mascara just won't leave us alone!" She set Iikiba down on the table.

"Hey mutt, how's life treating you?" Jatsuma asked. Iikiba growled.

"Daichi? Are you okay?" Makoto asked. Daichi was hunched over with his head on the table again.

"Just great." He said sarcastically.

"This guy Setsuko has the hots for Lotion." Jatsuma explained.

"Thank you Captain Subtle!" Daichi yelled.

"But you like Lotion!" Makoto said.

Daichi put his hand over his face. "And Captain Obvious."

"Look, it can't be as bad as you make it out to be." Jatsuma said. "I mean, what does this guy have that you don't?"

"I don't know. An A in Chemistry?" Daichi groaned.

"So what are you going to do?" Makoto asked.

Daichi sighed. "What can I do?"

"But you can't just sit back and do nothing!" Makoto insisted. "If this guy is trying to steal her away then you have to stand up to him!"

"Stand up to him?"

"Yeah! Lay down the law! Tell that guy to take a hike!"

"And that works?" Daichi asked skeptically.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!" Iikiba began yipping angrily.

"Iikiba's right. Just telling him to back off won't do anything." Jatsuma punched his fist into his other hand. "You gotta beat the crud out of him!" Iikiba glared at him.

"As tempting as that is…" Daichi said sarcastically. "I think I'll pass."

"Daichi, don't you get it?" Makoto said. "If you don't give this guy a clue he'll just keep hanging around! Then you'll never be able to get rid of him!"

Just then Iikiba jumped off the table and ran out of the room, down the hall.

"Iikiba!" Makoto called. "Jatsuma, go make sure he doesn't get lost."

"Why do I have to watch him?"

"Because I'm trying to give Daichi advice right now."

"So am I!"

"Would you just go?" Daichi said, irritated.

"Alright, alright. Geez." Jatsuma got up to follow Iikiba. But jus then Iikiba reappeared in the doorway wearing a bathrobe.

"Don't listen to those two!" Iikiba yelled urgently. "They don't know anything about romance!"

"And I suppose you're the expert?" Makoto scoffed.

"Comparatively, yes." He turned to Daichi. "I mean what good will kicking his butt do?" He turned back to Makoto. "It's just annoying!"

Makoto swung her bag at him but he jumped back to avoid it.

"Maybe Iikiba's right." Jatsuma said. "Maybe you should just let this slide."

"…That's probably for the best." Daichi sighed.

"Yeah. Then you can go visit them and their twelve kids at Christmas." Jatsuma said. Daichi seized up with a horrified look on his face.

"You gotta step up! Next thing you know they'll be holding hands in the hall and planning weekend ski trips!" Jatsuma continued.

"They…they won't." Daichi stuttered.

Jatsuma narrowed his eyes. "Wouldn't they? Do you really want to take that chance?"

"But…but I can't…unless…" Daichi suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room.

"Where's he going?" Makoto asked.

"Beats me." Jatsuma shrugged.

Makoto turned back to Iikiba. "So I'm annoying am I?" She asked angrily.

"Yep. And one other thing." Iikiba threw a bucket of water at her. "Don't splash me!"

"AH!" Makoto was hit with the water and changed into a little black and white monkey. "Oh ah ah!"

"Serves you right!" Iikiba laughed. Makoto glared at him and jumped forward.

"AH!" Iikiba jumped back, but not in time to avoid her. She clamped her arms around his neck so he couldn't get away from her. "Let go stupid!" Iikiba yelled. He ran out into the yard, trying to get her to let go.

But thanks to his bad sense of direction he ran straight into the backyard pond. Makoto the monkey hugged the black chihuahua who was kicking frantically in the water. "Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!"

Jatsuma watched them for a second then closed the screen door. "Maybe now I can actually watch my show." He sat down in front of the TV and popped a cracker into his mouth.

_IN THE DOJO_

"DAD!" Daichi slammed open the door to the dojo. Ranma jumped at the loud noise and Kiyoshi, who was running class drills, fell stiffly to the floor, still trying to keep his one legged stance.

"Daichi? What the-?"

"Dad, you've got to train me!" Daichi interrupted.

"You can't do that!" Kiyoshi stood up. "You can't just come in here, years behind, and expect to be trained!"

"You…" Ranma blinked twice. "You want me to train you?"

"Yes!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"There's this guy at school I need to beat up!" Daichi said urgently. Kiyoshi snort laughed.

"Daichi…" Ranma said. "I'm so proud of you!" He hugged his son. Kiyoshi fell over in dismay.

"Come on!" Ranma said happily. "We need to start the training right away!"

* * *

What's that? You want to review? Well don't let me stand in your way! 


	4. Training Never Killed Anyone Yet

Captain Obvious, Captain Subtle and Professor Balance… together they form…THE JARGON JERKS! A ragtag team of superheroes who TALK their enemies into submission! Except Professor Balance… he falls on them.

**TRAINING NEVER KILLED ANYONE YET**

And so Daichi's training began.

_DAY ONE_

"Okay, the first thing you need to do is master some basic techniques." Ranma said. They were standing in the backyard and Daichi was wearing a martial arts outfit.

"Right!"

"And I'm your sparing partner! Right Sensei?" Kiyoshi said enthusiastically.

"Yes." Ranma sighed. "Just get in a fighting stance."

Kiyoshi stood across from Daichi and stood at the ready. Daichi tried to copy the way he was standing.

"Don't do what he's doing; he's wide open on the left. Do what I'm doing." Ranma showed him how to stand.

"Oh, okay." Daichi adjusted himself. Kiyoshi scowled.

"Alright Daichi! Try taking a swing!" Ranma instructed.

Daichi drew back and threw his fist forward. Kiyoshi moved to the side, dodging the attack and kicked out his foot to trip him. "EEIAH!" Daichi fell to the ground face first. Kiyoshi smiled and Daichi glared at him.

"Get up and try again!" Ranma said.

Daichi stood up but before he could do anything Kiyoshi punched him in the chest. "Ouch! Hey!" He lost his balance and fell over again.

"Come on Daichi! You can do this! You just need some self confidence!" Ranma encouraged.

"Yeah, confidence." Daichi said as he stood up again. But this time Kiyoshi kicked him in the back and he fell again.

"CUT THAT OUT!" Daichi grabbed Kiyoshi's leg, causing him to fall over too.

"AHH! Hey, you can't do that! You're cheating!" Kiyoshi kicked his leg at him.

"It is not! This is _anything goes_ martial arts, isn't it?"

"Now you're getting it!" Ranma said enthusiastically.

Kiyoshi's eye twitched then he lunged forward and bit Daichi on the arm.

Ranma's jaw dropped. Daichi sat there stunned for a moment. "AAAAHHHHHH!" He swung his arm around madly and Kiyoshi let go.

Daichi scrambled away and looked at his arm with tears in his eyes. There were bite marks on it. "ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU BIT ME!"

"It _is_ anything goes martial arts!" He jumped forward and tackled Daichi. "AAHH! GET AWAY!" The two boys started wrestling on the ground.

"Hey! Hey, BREAK IT UP!" Ranma ran over and pulled Kiyoshi off of Daichi kicking and screaming.

"Oh…sorry Sensei. I don't know what came over me." Kiyoshi said unconvincingly.

"You stupid jerk!" Daichi yelled as he sat up. "I think you gave me a black eye!"

Kiyoshi tried to lunge forward again but Ranma held him back.

_DAY TWO_

"Put some muscle in it! You're hardly getting anywhere!" Ranma yelled. He was standing on top of one of the walls that went along the street. Daichi was below moving down the street inch by inch with a medieval ball and chain attached to each foot.

"Are you sure this is good for increasing leg strength?" Daichi panted.

"What? Don't you feel the burn?"

"I'm feeling something."

"Well you've been going for an hour and have gotten about ten feet." Ranma sighed as he jumped down to the street. Then his snapped his fingers. "Maybe you just need the right motivation!"

"Motivation?"

Ranma stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a brown wallet but when he let the bottom flap go it folded out all the way to the ground. It was a picture holder filled with, "Baby pictures! For child torture and blackmail purposes." Ranma explained.

"You're blackmailing me with baby pictures?" Daichi raised an eyebrow. "Pffh. How is that supposed to work? I know you're bluffing."

"Am I? Maybe I should go to the Cat Café for a bite and think about that." He started to walk down the street. "Hey, have you all seen Daichi's naked butt baby pictures? They're a riot!" He mimicked what he would do.

"You are so pathetic." Daichi said.

"See ya later Daichi!" Ranma waved goodbye as he rounded the corner, the picture wallet dragging along the ground.

Daichi was silent for a moment and then he started to look concerned. "Dad? …Dad!" There was no answer.

He pulled forward on his chains with all his might and managed to gain a few feet. "DAD! This isn't funny!" He kept pulling forward. "I'm serious!" Still no answer.

"Oh no! He actually went!" Daichi gasped. He advanced with a thousand times more force than before. "I can't believe he…he…" Daichi was starting to realize that the metal balls were rolling along on their own due to the slight incline of the street.

Ranma reappeared from the side street. "There, see? I told you that you just needed a little motivation. Look how fast you're going now…Daichi…you might want to slow down now." He said as Daichi sprinted past him trying to keep up with the metal balls.

"I CAN'T!" The incline was steadily getting steeper until, "GAH!" Daichi tripped and started to roll down the street. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"DAICHI!" Ranma yelled as he watched him roll. "TRY TO ROLL THE OTHER WAY! NO! THE _OTHER_ WAY!"

Further down the street a shop keeper was standing outside his shop sweeping the entranceway. He whipped the sweat from his brow and looked proudly at his glass figurine shop. All the delicate figurines were arranged just so in the window.

"I'm so glad that the store finally got restocked and that window fixed." He said. "Now there's nothing left to do but…" He flipped the over the sign on the door that said 'closed' to 'open'.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daichi crashed into the store window at top speed. The metal balls added an extra punch to the damaged.

"What the hell-!" The store keeper fell back away from the impact.

Ranma ran down the street after Daichi. He pulled him out of the wreckage by one of his chains. "Daichi! Are you okay?"

"Just peachy." He said, his eyes still rolling.

"AHH! MY SHOP!" The store keeper screamed.

"RUN!" Ranma ran away, pulling Daichi along by the chain.

_DAY THREE_

"This exercise will help steady the mental side of your technique." Ranma said.

"This is mental, alright." Daichi said as he placed another brick in the wall around their backyard. There seemed to have been a few more holes made since the day Makoto and the others had plowed through. Daichi sat next the hole with a rather large pile of bricks and a barrel of cement so he could repair the hole.

"Well the chore needed to get done anyway and it's a well known fact that household chores will teach you the true ways of martial arts." Ranma explained.

Daichi rolled his eyes. At least he wasn't dragging a metal ball around.

Just then another hole was blown in the wall nearby. "Leave me alone!" Iikiba ran through with Makoto not far behind.

"I went to the trouble to make it and you won't even try it!" Makoto yelled. She was carrying a box lunch.

"YOU!" Ranma pointed at Iikiba. "You're the one who keeps making these holes in my walls!"

"It's not my fault!" Iikiba protested. "Blame her!" He pointed at Makoto. She threw the box lunch and it hit him square in the face.

The box slowly slid off his face and fell to the ground, leaving most of the mashed food stuck to his face. "What did you do that for?" He yelled. "I was gonna eat that later!"

Makoto's eye twitched. "Well you should have told me THAT instead of yelling 'I don't want it!' and running away!"

"Oh yeah? Well you….you're stupid!" Iikiba made a face at her. Makoto growled and lunged forward. "AHH!" Iikiba took off running again.

"Yep, there's nothing quite like a nice quiet setting for mental preparation." Daichi said sarcastically.

"Can you two PLEASE take it somewhere else?" Ranma yelled at them as Iikiba ran by with Makoto not far behind. Iikiba's foot inadvertently kicked away a brick from the bottom of the pile. The heap of bricks started to sway slightly.

"HEY!" Ranma caught Iikiba by the back of his shirt. "I'm not sure you heard me, I said," He kicked him away into the sky. "GET OUTTA HERE!"

"Aw, Dad!" Makoto whined as she watched Iikiba fly away. "Now I've got to find him all over again!"

"You better get on that then." Ranma said.

Makoto gave her father a glare before running off through one of the holes, accidentally knocking another brick from the bottom of the pile. Daichi looked up just as the bricks started to fall. "AH!"

"Glad that's over. Right Daichi?" Ranma looked over. "Daichi?"

Daichi reached his hand out of the bricks that were covering him and pulled himself up. "Ow."

_DAY FOUR_

"Daichi, today we are going to work on improving your speed." Ranma said.

"Okay that I can understand." Daichi said. "But…why are you guys wearing radiation suites?" Ranma, Genma and Soun stood before him all wearing white body suites.

"They're not radiation suites!" Genma asserted.

"That's right. These are bee keeper suites." Soun explained.

"Bees? BEES-BEES?" Daichi asked nervously.

"What other bees are there?" Ranma said.

"I…I can't believe guys are going to sic bees on me!" Daichi yelled, aghast.

"Don't think of it as _sicing_." Genma said. "Think of it as…um…"

"Setting bees free when you don't have any protective gear!" Soun suggested.

"Yeah! Think of it like that!" Genma said enthusiastically.

"You're not helping!" Ranma yelled. "I'm not paying you two be stupid!"

"I can't believe you're paying us at all!" Soun said happily.

"Yeah. I can't believe you actually went for that!" Genma laughed. "Guess it's our lucky day! Eh, Tendo?"

Ranma had to restrain himself from beating up the pair of them. "Just…just go get the bees." He growled. Genma and Soun put on their head gear, gave him a thumbs-up and walked around to the other side of the house.

"Dad, I am NOT fighting bees!" Daichi yelled.

"Daichi, this is the same way I brought my speed up. Don't worry son, I have every faith in you." Ranma put on his own head gear.

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."

"You have to take out the bees before they can sting you. Good luck!" Ranma backed away to the other side of the yard.

"Hey!"

"Fire in the hole!" Genma shouted as he threw the bee hive towards Daichi.

"EEEIIIIAAHHHH!" Daichi screamed as the bees flew angrily out of their nest and surrounded him like a stinging cloud.

"You can do it Daichi!" Soun shouted in encouragement.

"It's all for your training!" Ranma yelled.

"Swing faster!" Genma swung his own fist in demonstration.

"WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?" Daichi picked up the hive threw it towards the three of them, the bees buzzing after it like on a homing signal.

"AH!" The bee hive hit Genma in the side of the head and knocked him into the koi pond. Suddenly his suite was much too small for his body and it ripped, giving the bees access to his skin. Genma panda held up a sign that said 'GAH! OUCH! EHH! OW!' and tried to swat the bees with it.

"Take out the bees Pop!"

"Aren't you the master of this?" Soun asked Genma.

'You try it!' Genma held up a sign and pulled the head gear off of Soun and Ranma with his other paw.

"AHH! What did you-?" Ranma yelled as he tried to take out the bees with his fists, but they were surrounding them fast and Ranma's attack was having little to no effect.

"I THOUGHT YOU COULD DO THIS!" Soun cried at Ranma.

"IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME!" Ranma yelled in frustration.

The bees pressed in closer and closer, stinging their victims. "GAH! RUN!" Ranma yelled and all three jumped into the koi pond. The bees buzzed threateningly overhead.

Genma held a sign out of the water. 'GET HELP!'

"Yeah, I'm going." Daichi grumbled as he staggered towards the house with his new wounds.

_LATER_

"I don't understand Miss. Why would your husband willingly set bees loose in your backyard?" The exterminator asked as his assistant sprayed the area out back.

"Just…just get them free." Akane sighed.

_DAY FIVE_

"Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" Ranma called over a megaphone. He was standing up in a boat that was going down the storm drain river running between the streets of Nerima. Daichi was rowing the boat but it was stubbornly going the other way with the current.

"STROKE!" Ranma yelled.

"I AM!" Daichi snapped.

"Well we're still going the wrong way. You're supposed to be building upper body strength." Ranma said.

"Trust me, I'm trying!" Daichi yelled. "It's just hard because my bee stings still hurt!"

"Quit making excuses and," Ranma held the megaphone up to Daichi's ear. "STROKE!"

"YOW! Alright! Alright I'm stroking!" It was about then that he noticed the sound of rushing water. "Hm? Do you hear that?"

"Yeah, it sounds like…" Ranma looked around and they saw the river end up ahead as it poured down into another waterway. "A WATERFALL!"

"AAHHH!" Daichi shouted.

"STROKE DAICHI! STROKE!" Ranma yelled.

"I CAN'T STROKE ANY FASTER!" Daichi yelled in a panic, his arms working like windmills.

Ranma tried to take the ores but they were too close to the waterfall now. "ABANDON SHIP!" He yelled as he and Daichi jumped overboard. Their boat went over.

Female Ranma surfaced gasping and looked around franticly. "Daichi!"

Daichi floated by, his arms flapping wildly and his mouth gurgling in both air and water. He was struggling madly to stay above the water.

"DAMMIT! I FORGOT HE CAN'T SWIM!" Ranma swam forward and grabbed hold of Daichi's arm. But she couldn't stop them from going over the waterfall.

"Oh…COME ON!" Daichi yelled in frustration as they fell to the waterway below.

* * *

Okay, so maybe the Jargon Jerks aren't that funny. Why am I so concerned with the Jargon Jerks anyway? Just ignore my ramblings and read the story… you know… unless I have something important to say… which is not now… until next time! 


	5. Never Give Up!

Man! It feels like I just stared this story and now it's halfway threw! Time has flown! On a completely different note, what is the deal with flamers? They unjustly attack someone else's story and insult the writers. Why? For kicks? Are they just tired of seeing poorly written stories and this is how they handle it? By screaming "you suck!' and running away? It's not constructive criticism I'm talking about but those people who offer no advice, just insults without reason. Ohh! That burns me up! Do they do it just because they can get away with it? The cover of the internet cloaks their getaway, as it were? Don't they know how to be polite! Just because you CAN say something doesn't mean you SHOULD! HAS ALL OF HUMANITY'S DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL GRACES BEEN FOR NAUGHT! ...Hem, anyway… thank you for your time.

**NEVER GIVE UP!**

"What were you thinking?" Dr. Tofu asked as he put a band-aid over Daichi's nose. "Taking a boat ride down a river you know ends in a runoff is just dangerous." Ranma and Daichi were sitting on the examination in Dr. Tofu's office, both looking rather scuffed up.

"I already told you I forgot!" Ranma huffed.

"I think you're going senile!" Daichi yelled.

"What was that?" Ranma glared at his son.

"Now, now. There's no use in placing blame." Dr. Tofu said as his waved his hands slightly, wanting to keep the peace. "I just don't usually have to see the same two patients five days in a row is all."

Ranma and Daichi just sat there looking surly.

"What are you two trying to do anyway?" He asked as he pulled out another band-aid to put on Daichi's arm.

"I _was_ trying to train so I could defeat that stupid Setsuko! But I guess that's not going to happen!" Daichi shouted indignantly.

"It's not so bad!" Ranma tried to assure him. "All your training has toughened you up!"

"You call THAT training?"

"I'm home!" Someone called as they entered the doctor's office, ringing the entryway bell. Dr. Tofu's glasses fogged over as Kasumi entered the examination room carrying some grocery bags and little pushing a little pink stroller in front of her. She was followed by Akane, who was also carrying groceries.

"Kasumi! I'm so glad you're home safe!" Dr. Tofu said happily as he rushed to forward to greet his wife.

"We just went out to pick up a few things, but thank you." Kasumi said with her usual gentle nature. The baby in the stroller cooed and reached her hands out toward Dr. Tofu. She was wearing a little pink hoodie with bunny ears on top.

"Hello Ai!" Dr. Tofu picked up the baby and she giggled with delight.

"Aw you two are so cute!" Akane said in adoration. "I remember when mine were that small and innocent. But then they turn into teenagers and…Ranma?" Akane had just noticed her husband and son sitting on the examination table. "What are you two doing here?"

"Oh, uh…just in for a checkup!" Ranma laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. But he and Daichi were both covered in obvious bruises.

Akane glared at him suspiciously. "Have you been doing some kind of dangerous training again? I told you to give it a rest after the bee fiasco!"

"I thought I _was_ taking it easy! I forgot that that particular river ended in a waterfall!" Ranma said, taking the defensive.

"Waterfall? Oh my God! Daichi, are you okay?" Akane grabbed hold of her son in a tight hug.

"OW! Mom! That arm is still tender!" Daichi winced and pulled away.

"Oh sorry Daichi." Akane said with concern. "Ranma! Look what you've done! You were being too hard on him!"

"Quit babying him Akane! He's seventeen you know!" Ranma retaliated.

"I don't care what age he is!" Akane yelled. "You do know what you're doing, don't you?"

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"You're turning into your father!"

Ranma gasped and grabbed at his chest where his heart was. As far as he was concerned that comment was way below the belt. "That was low Akane. Even for you!"

"What do you mean 'even for you!'?" Akane advance forward threateningly.

"Um, excuse me?" Kasumi asked, raising her hand. "What exactly is going on?"

Akane sighed in exasperation. "Ranma is trying to train Daichi to defeat this guy at school who has a crush on Lotion, the same girl he likes." She explained.

"Does _everyone_ know about this?" Daichi yelled as his cheeks turned red from embarrassment.

"Oh, you have to fight to decide who she chooses?" Kasumi asked with genuine curiosity.

"That's the idea." Ranma nodded his head.

"Uh…actually Lotion and Setsuko don't really know about this...yet." Daichi said sheepishly.

"Oh, so you have to win her back from him?" Kasumi asked.

"…well…we never actually…I mean we never…" Daichi stuttered, blushing.

Kasumi gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "She chose him over you?"

"NO! Not really…She doesn't exactly know that I…uh…"

"You mean she doesn't even know that you like her?" Kasumi asked, the realization finally dawning on her. "Why don't you tell her?"

"Isn't it obvious, Aunt Kasumi?" Daichi sighed, still blushing.

"It's the same reason Dr. Tofu didn't ask you out for…what, twenty years?" Ranma turned to Dr. Tofu.

"Roughly." Dr. Tofu sighed; still gently rocking baby Ai back and forth.

"Well THAT makes me feel better!" Daichi said in irritation.

Kasumi blinked. "Daichi, far be it of me to butt in, but shouldn't you tell her how you feel before beating this guy up?"

"Uh…I'm not so sure…"

"Yeah! That's the logical thing to do!" Akane agreed.

"Well, you _could_ do that. Or you can do the manly thing and beat the living crud out of that guy!" Ranma suggested with resolve.

"You be quiet! You've already done enough damage!" Akane yelled at Ranma.

"Trust me Daichi." Kasumi said, looking her nephew in the eyes. "Don't wait twenty years to tell her how you feel."

"I just…I'm not sure I can. But then again, I definitely can't beat up anyone." Daichi said, considering his options.

"Come on Daichi! Do you want all your training to be for nothing?" Ranma shot up right next to Daichi.

"I said be quiet!" Akane hit Ranma away.

Daichi sighed. "And I DEFINITELY can't take anymore training." He put his hand to his temple. "Come to think of it I shouldn't have been taking romantic advice from _Makoto_ and _Jatsuma_ in the first place."

He stood up, having made his decision. "That's it, I give up!"

"You can't give up!" Ranma was back at Daichi's side again.

"Forget it Dad! I'm not fighting Setsuko!"

"No, I mean you _really_ can't." Ranma explained. "I kind of already sent a letter of challenge to Setsuko."

Everyone gapped at him for a second. "YOU DID WHAT?" Daichi roared, shaking in anger.

"Well your training was really starting to come along and I just thought…"

"ARRRGGGH!" Daichi screamed.

"He looks like he has some fight in him now." Dr. Tofu said. Baby Ai cooed.

* * *

Did that scream sound like Charlie Brown? I think it sounded like Charlie Brown. 


	6. But I Can't Fight!

New pictures are here! Whoot! They're cool little character IDs, there are more to come for other characters too. Sorry it's been so long, but the program ShiverMeTembers wants to do the comic in still hasn't come and we ordered it three weeks ago! It was on backorder and now no one knows when it's coming, not even the people who sold it to me! Anyway, that's the reason there is no comic yet, so enjoy the character IDs!

**BUT I CAN'T FIGHT!**

"I can't believe Dad sent a letter of challenge to Setsuko!" Daichi huffed. It was the next morning and he was walking to school with Jatsuma. After a long night of arguing and brooding Daichi was still very angry with his current situation. "And without even telling me!"

"Yeah, it's really awful." Jatsuma sighed, tired of hearing about it. "I wouldn't worry too much though. It's not like Setsuko is going to want to fight. You said he was a nerd, right?"

"I guess." Daichi said. "But still, it's going to make things really awkward."

They entered the schoolyard filled with chattering students waiting for the bell to ring, signaling the start of classes. Everything seemed perfectly normal and peaceful. Daichi took a deep breath; maybe Setsuko would just ignore the letter.

"Red alert, Daichi." Jatsuma whispered to him. Daichi looked up and saw Setsuko walking towards them through the crowd.

"Oh crap! Jatsuma, cover me!" Daichi said, ready to duck away into the pack of girls passing by.

"Hi Daichi!" Setsuko greeted him.

"Setsuko! Hey, didn't see ya!" Daichi said in a fake cheery tone.

"Well it seems we have procrastinated on our project, haven't we?"

"Heh heh. Guess so." Daichi laughed.

Jatsuma rolled his eyes.

"We should probably get to work on that. But I wanted to ask you something first." Setsuko reached into his pocket and pulled out a rolled up piece of paper. "What's all this about you challenging me to a fight? Over Lotion?"

"ACK!" Daichi jumped back instinctively. "Oh, just ignore that! Really it's nothing! Really! It's just my Dad, he gets a little carried away and does this sometimes! Really, I can't mention any names at home because the next day it's all like 'why did you challenge me to a fight?' and I'm all like 'oh that's just my crazy Dad!' then we all have a good laugh about it! I just mention the names Lotion and Setsuko and all of a sudden-"

"I accept." Setsuko interrupted.

Daichi blinked and Jatsuma gaped at Setsuko. "Um…excuse me?" Daichi asked.

"I accept." Setsuko said again. "I could tell you liked Lotion from the moment we met. I just didn't think you had the guts to try to take her. But let's get something straight now; Lotion is going to be my girlfriend. So if you're smart you'll give up right now."

Daichi just stared at him with his mouth hanging open, stunned.

"No? Alright then." Setsuko jumped into the air and came down with his fist bared.

"AAHH!" Daichi yelled in a panic. Jatsuma jumped forward and threw a punch at Setsuko to stop him. Setsuko dodged by springing off of Jatsuma's face and landed several yards away.

"OW! GEEZ!" Jatsuma held his hands over his nose. "You kicked me in the freaking face!"

"This doesn't concern you Jatsuma. Stay out of it." Setsuko said, glaring.

"I'll get involved if I want to get involved!" He snapped. "You're really getting on my nerves!"

"How…you…" Daichi stuttered. "How did you do that? You can't…you're a martial artist?"

"Been one for years. Does that surprise you?" Setsuko sneered. "I'm a member of the Bensuko school of martial arts. I'm a black belt, I have won three tournaments and mastered midair fighting. Ready to surrender?"

Daichi's eye twitched. "Here I though you were just a nice nerd who happened to like Lotion." He growled. "But you're just an egotistical jerk!"

Setsuko frowned. "At least I'm not a ditz who can't even walk two steps."

"Why don't you come over here and say that?" Daichi walked forward two steps and tripped. "AH!"

"Gladly." Setsuko said. Daichi sat up and saw Setsuko running towards him.

"Daichi! Look out!" Jatsuma warned. Setsuko swung his fist around.

"Hey guys!" Lotion sprinted towards them. Setsuko stopped just and inch short of Daichi's face. Daichi sat there, wide eyed, looking at the fist in front of his face.

"Huh? What…what's going on?" Lotion asked.

Setsuko looked at Lotion and backed away from Daichi. "Oh, nothing at all."

"_NOTHING AT ALL_?" Jatsuma yelled.

"Yeah, nothing." Daichi said as he stood up. Jatsuma looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…okay." Lotion said, sounding concerned. "The bell's about to ring so we should probably get going."

"Right." Daichi and Setsuko said at the same time. Then they glared at each other and started walking stiffly towards the school.

"Are they okay?" Lotion asked Jatsuma.

"Don't ask." Jatsuma sighed.

_LATER IN CHEMISTRY_

Okay, so this wasn't the ideal situation. But Daichi would be damned if he let that idiot Setsuko whisk Lotion away from under his nose. Setsuko had taken the opportunity at the beginning of class to switch seats with the girl who usually sat next to Lotion (by promising to do her homework for a month).

"Class, make sure you have your goggles on tight!" Ms. Meadows instructed. "This sulfite solution can really sting if it gets in your eyes!"

"Hold that steady." Lotion said as she added another ingredient to her and Setsuko's solution.

"Don't worry about it." Setsuko said with a grin on his face.

_Look at him, cozying up to her. It's disgusting! _Daichi thought.

"Dude…DUDE!" Daichi's partner yelled and grabbed the beaker away. Daichi had been pouring way too much of some green chemical into it and it was overflowing. "Yowch! That thing stings!" He quickly set it on the table.

"Oh sorry! I was just-" Daichi looked up and saw Setsuko scoot his seat closer to Lotion's.

"BACK OFF!"

Everyone turned around to look at Daichi. "Is something wrong Daichi?" Ms. Meadows asked.

"Nothing." He said, still glaring at Setsuko who was smiling at him. Lotion looked concerned. "Really, it's nothing."

"Alright then, try to contain yourself. Everyone back to work! Chop! Chop!" Ms. Meadows instructed and the class returned to their beakers.

Setsuko turned back and sneered at Daichi as he scooted his chair even closer to Lotion. Daichi picked up his own beaker and threw it. "WHOOPS!"

"AH! DUDE!" His partner yelled.

Setsuko and Lotion looked around just in time for the beaker to hit Setsuko. Lotion jumped back. "What the-!"

"AHH! DAMN IT!" Setsuko twitched as the solution stung his skin.

"EMERGENCY! WE HAVE A SPILL!" Ms. Meadows grabbed the emergency fire hose off the wall and aimed it at Setsuko. "DON'T MOVE!" She turned it on and Setsuko was sprayed with a large sum of water for a few seconds.

Then the water pressure lessened and he stood there soaked with a furious look on his face. "You…YOU'RE DEAD!" Setsuko picked up his and Lotion's own solution and threw it back towards Daichi.

"Setsuko! Don't!" Lotion yelled.

"AAHHH!" Daichi fell out of his chair and avoided the solution, which landed on the floor.

"Dude." Daichi's lab partner said.

"SAOTOME! SATO! I'm surprised with you two!" Ms. Meadows yelled. "In the hall! NOW!"

_LATER_

Daichi and Setsuko stood in the hallway holding buckets of water for as their punishment. Neither looked particularly pleasant.

"This is your fault." Setsuko hissed.

"_My_ fault? You're the one who kept edging closer and closer to Lotion!"

"I've never had to be punished before! You blemished my perfect record!"

"There's a first time for everything." Daichi said with a smirk.

Setsuko growled. "That's it!" He dropped his bucket and threw a punch.

"WHOA!" Daichi dropped his own buckets and ran off down the hall. Setsuko hit the floor instead, bringing up some of the tile.

"You can't outrun me!" Setsuko took off after him.

Daichi looked back over his shoulder and saw Setsuko gaining on him. _Oh man! It's just a matter of time before I trip._

"GAH!" He had reached the end of the hallway and fell down the first flight of stairs. "Ow." He sat up and rubbed his head.

"You won't get away!" Setsuko yelled from the top of the stairs as he began to run down them.

"GAH!" Daichi fell down the second flight of stairs. But instead of hitting the floor he ran into someone.

"Ah! What the-?" Iikiba jumped back. "Daichi? What the heck are you doing?"

"Iikiba! Thank God! What are you doing here?" Daichi asked.

"I was going to the bathroom, that okay with you?"

"Ha! Ha! You're always good for a laugh!" Daichi patted him on the shoulder.

Iikiba raised an eyebrow. "You're freaking me out at little."

"DAICHI!" Setsuko had reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Eep!" Daichi jumped behind Iikiba.

"Hey! What's going on?" Iikiba said, looking between the two.

"This is none of your business. Step aside." Setsuko ordered.

Iikiba narrowed his eyes. "Daichi, what's going on?"

"That's Setsuko." Daichi explained.

"Really? Him? Why's he chasing you?"

"It's a long story."

"Oh, I get it." Iikiba said with a half smile and a sigh of irritation. "You know none of this would have happened if you had just listened to me in the first place."

"Can we talk about this LATER?" Daichi said angrily.

"I won't ask again! Step aside!" Setsuko yelled.

Iikiba cracked his knuckles. "What a pain. Look nerd, I don't want to hurt-" Right then Setsuko grabbed hold of Iikiba's arm and spun him around into the wall. "AHH-OOF!" Iikiba was so stunned that he couldn't even move, mostly from surprise.

"AH!" Daichi jumped back in surprise. But right then the bell rang and the hallway was filled with students emptying out of their classes.

Setsuko let go of Iikiba's arm and looked around, but Daichi had already been swept away by the crowd. "Damn! I'll get him sooner or later!" He walked off down a hall.

Iikiba fell off the wall onto the floor. "Ow! Why that…that stupid…ARRH!"

_LUNCHTIME_

Daichi made it through his next few classes without much trouble. By the time lunch rolled around he had a pretty good grasp on his situation. Not only was Setsuko a martial artist, he was a GOOD martial artist. He had managed to get a hit off Jatsuma and had slammed Iikiba into a wall. And he wanted to kill Daichi.

Daichi sighed. "And I can't even fight back."

"Hey Daichi!" Jatsuma waved him over to where he was sitting eating his lunch. "How's it going?"

Daichi glared at him. "I spend the whole morning trying not to get beaten up and you ask how it's going? It's going badly!"

"Geez. No need to get snippy. He can't do anything with all these people watching."

"That didn't bother him this morning! Jatsuma, this is serious! Setsuko's really good! He's going to beat the crap out of me!"

"Well…uh…look on the bright side!"

"What bright side?"

"Maybe he's forgotten." Jatsuma said, smiling.

"ARGH! Why do I even talk to you?" Daichi stomped off.

"Hey! Is that what I get for trying to help?" Jatsuma called after him.

Daichi walked over to the other side of the schoolyard and sat down with his back against a tree. _What am I going to do? There's no way I can beat him. But,_ Daichi sighed. "I can't let him take Lotion either. And if I keep running away that's what's going to happen."

That was when Daichi felt a cold shiver run down his spine. "Oh great." He said sarcastically.

"Good afternoon Daichi." Yuri arrived, in her carrier supported by fan boys of course. "You look a little down." She said. The fan boys faked concern.

"You could say that." Daichi said wearily.

"I've got just the thing to cheer you up, a box lunch." Yuri snapped her fingers and a fan boy ran forward and pushed the lunch into Daichi's hands.

Daichi's eye twitched. "_As much as I appreciate this,_" He pushed the lunch back to the fan boy. "I DON'T WANT IT!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. The fan boys gasped. Yuri's eyes widened and she looked rather taken aback.

"I am REALLY not in this mood for this! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Daichi picked up his bag and stomped away in a huff.

"Why…the nerve!" One of the fan boys said.

"How disrespectful!" Another agreed.

"Um…Yuri. This is about-" The fan boy holding the box lunch held it up just as the internal timer went off. The top popped open and he was covered in a spray of black ink. "Never mind." He sighed.

Yuri watched Daichi go with narrowed eyes and a sour look on her face. "Hmph." She turned her nose away.

* * *

Ever feel your friends are more honest than you want them to be? I think Daichi does. 


	7. Get Over It

Three words. Weirdest- day- ever! I feel like there's been some cosmic joke played on me today; April Fool's Day. Let's just say it involves a pancake breakfast/ car wash, a car crash in a Wal-Mart parking lot, prom dress alterations, finally buying a new video game after much frustration, and our TV cable _finally_ getting buried after about four years of the cable guys ignoring it. Needless to say, I've been busy today and that's why I have posted this chapter late.

**GET OVER IT**

"Something is going on with those two." Lotion said as she and Luffa walked through the schoolyard. "Daichi and Setsuko have both been acting weird today." There was still a little time until lunch was over and all the students were making the most of their remaining free time.

"You really are clueless aren't you?" Luffa said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Luffa just rolled her eyes and walked on ahead.

"Hey! Luffa! Tell me what's going on!" Lotion yelled after her. "Hmph. Yeah right. Like she knows why they're fighting."

Just then Lotion happened to look around and saw Daichi stumbling around not too far away, trying to avoid trees. He was looking particularly irritated. "Damn it!" She heard him yell when he finally did fall.

Lotion sighed. _Looks like I'm going to have to get it straight from the horse's mouth._ She walked over to where Daichi was trying to stand up. "Daichi,"

"AH!" Daichi jumped in surprise. "Oh hi Lotion!"

"What's going on with you and Setsuko?" Lotion asked.

"Uh…what do you mean?"

Lotion narrowed her eyes. "Don't give me that! You two practically attacked each other in class today! Maybe it's none of my business but I'm just concerned. People don't usually throw glass objects at each other."

Daichi couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't possibly tell her the fight was about _her_. It was just too embarrassing. She'd probably think they were both just pig-headed males for treating her like a prize.

But then Aunt Kasumi's face floated into his head. _Trust me Daichi. Don't wait twenty years to tell her how you feel._

"I…I…" Daichi stammered.

Lotion gave his a strange look. "Are you okay? You look like you have indigestion or something."

Daichi sighed. "I'm fine. It's just…uh…what do you think of Setsuko?"

"What do I think of Setsuko?" Lotion asked. "What does that have to do with this?"

"It doesn't! Well…not exactly….maybe…"

"So what is it then?" She said, exasperated.

"Never mind. Forget I said anything." Daichi sighed.

"Hey! Don't give me that! Something is going on with you two and I want to know what it is!"

"It's really noth-"

"I don't believe you! Why can't you just give me a straight answer?" Lotion said angrily. "It's like you're always trying to hide something!"

"I'm not! I mean…I am. But I never meant to!"

"But you're not going to tell me why you and Setsuko are fighting, are you?"

Daichi was just silent. _How can I?_

Lotion glared at him. "If you don't want to tell me then fine!" She started to walk away. "I guess it really doesn't matter to me anyway!"

Daichi watched her go, feeling a hundred times worse than he had on any of his training days.

_AFTER SCHOOL_

"Hey Makoto!" Jatsuma trotted over to her through the group of teenagers eager to get out of school as quickly as possible. Jatsuma had only just made it out to the front schoolyard himself.

"Hey." Makoto said a little stiffly. "Iikiba's in a really bad mood."

"Yeah I noticed." He said, remembering how Iikiba had marched back into class looking angry and embarrassed.

Makoto narrowed her eyes. "What did you do this time?" She asked accusingly.

"What? I didn't do anything! It was probably something you did!"

"He was angry before I meet up with him for lunch!"

"CAN YOU TWO STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE?" Iikiba yelled. He was standing right next to Makoto.

"See? Bad mood." Makoto said. Iikiba glared at her.

"I just wanted to ask if you'd seen Daichi. I can't find him anywhere." Jatsuma said.

"I haven't seen him all day."

"He was at lunch but I haven't seen him since then." Jatsuma said. "And he wasn't in gym class. I just went up to check the infirmary and he's not there either."

"That Setsuko guy was chasing him around earlier." Iikiba said, still sounding irritated.

"Yeah, I know." Jatsuma sighed. "Man, I guess I shouldn't have been picking on him."

"I knew you had done something!" Makoto shouted. "Your face has that 'I blew it' look!"

Iikiba smiled. "His face always looks like that! Heh heh."

"Har de har har. Look, I'm sure he's fine." Jatsuma's head snapped up. "See? There he is now." He pointed and Makoto and Iikiba turned around to look.

Daichi stumbled out onto the walkway coming through the trees. His clothes looked like he had just rolled out of bed and he had a dazed look on his face.

"Daichi!" Makoto yelled as they ran over to him.

Daichi looked up quickly, snapped away from his trance. "Oh, hi."

"Where have you been? We were starting to worry." Makoto said.

"I was just sitting out in the tool shed. Thinking."

"Thinking? You mean all afternoon? Did you go to any of your classes?" Jatsuma asked.

"Not since lunch. Is school over already?" Daichi asked as he looked around at the crowd.

Jatsuma, Iikiba and Makoto exchanged concerned looks. "It's been over for nearly fifteen minutes." Iikiba said.

"Daichi, are you okay? You don't look so good." Makoto said.

"Yep. I feel…like I know what I need to do."

"O-kay." Jatsuma said with a raised eyebrow. "We should probably get home."

"Just a minute. There's something I have to take care of." Daichi walked on through the crowd of students and made his way towards the front doors of the school.

"SETSUKO!" He yelled suddenly. Makoto, Iikiba and Jatsuma jumped in surprise, along with most of the bystanders who looked around to see what the yelling was about.

Setsuko also looked surprised to see Daichi, but his smug confidant look quickly returned to his face. "Come back to get your beating over with?"

"No! I came back to challenge you myself!" Daichi patted himself on the chest. "Tomorrow morning, seven thirty, right here!"

Everyone was watching them now with awed expressions on their faces.

"And whoever loses…" Daichi continued. "Forgets about Lotion."

Setsuko was silent for a second, and then he smiled. "Deal."

Iikiba, Jatsuma and Makoto all gaped at Daichi with their mouths hanging open. "Holy crap!" Jatsuma yelled.

_FURTHER AHEAD IN THE STREETS OF NERIMA_

"Ah-choo!" Lotion sneezed.

"You getting a cold? You've been sneezing a lot lately." Luffa said. They were walking home to the Cat Café.

"I don't know. I don't feel bad."

Luffa smiled. "Maybe someone's gossiping about you."

"Hmph. Like I believe that old wives tale." Lotion said. Luffa shrugged and they walked on in silence for a few minutes.

Lotion felt bad about getting angry at Daichi. Looking back on it now it felt like she had over reacted. If he didn't want to tell her there was probably a good reason. But something was getting to her. Daichi had asked her what she thought of Setsuko. _What did that have to do with anything? Is there something about Setsuko I don't know?_

_LATER THAT EVENING AT THE SAOTOME HOUSEHOLD_

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Akane yelled. She and Ranma were sitting at the table looking at Daichi, who had a sullen look on his face. Jatsuma, Makoto, Soun and Genma were peeking into the room from the hallway.

"You called him out in front of all those people? Do you realize how many people are going to show up to watch the fight?" Ranma asked, trying not to look proud.

"Yes, and I already feel bad enough." Daichi said.

"Daichi, you can't just treat a girl like a prize!" Akane yelled.

"She's not a prize. The challenge is whoever loses forgets her, not whoever wins gets her."

Akane narrowed her eyes. "It's the same principle. Ranma, he gets this from you, you know." She said, turning to her husband.

"What did I do?" Ranma asked.

Suddenly the sliding door to the back yard slammed open. "Nihao!" Shampoo greeted them as she walked in. "I bring your delivery!" She set the food on the table.

"What? We didn't order any-" Akane started.

"Thank you kindly." Soun said as he took the food and handed Shampoo her money.

"You better have ordered enough for everyone!" Ranma said as he tried to get a better look inside the bag.

"Buy your own!" Genma shouted.

"Shampoo, you're kind of interrupting something." Akane said.

"What I interrupting?"

"Mom's trying to talk Daichi out of a fight." Jatsuma said as took a bite of food.

"Um-hum." Makoto nodded, her mouth too full to speak. Ranma and Genma were fighting over the remaining food.

Akane sighed. "Why do I even bother?"

"This is big news." Shampoo said. "There not been big fight in many years!"

Just then Daichi stood up. "I'm going to bed." He started walking towards the door.

"Hey! You're not going anywhere!" Akane yelled.

"Listen!" Daichi turned around with an angry look on his face. "If I can't even fight Setsuko then how am I ever supposed to tell her how I feel? If I can defeat him…then maybe I can work up the courage to tell her!" He turned around quickly to walk out of the room.

"It's not your courage we're worried about." Jatsuma said as Daichi caught his foot on the carpet and tripped.

* * *

Insurance company, insurance company! Give me your answer true! (Boo hoo) 


	8. Who Said There'd Be A Festival?

This was originally going to be the last chapter, but I cut it in two because it got to be ridiculously long. So chapter nine is the last chapter now. Oh yeah, and just so you know I do update my profile page every so often with new information. You might find some things of interest there.

**WHO SAID THERE'D BE A FESTIVAL?**

Mr. Yamamoto straightened some papers on his desk and set them aside. He looked over his new office with a satisfied look on his face. "Ah, my first week has a high school principal seems to have come off without a hitch." The young principal sighed happily. "Finally, my dream of educating the fine young people of Bunraku High will be realized!"

Just then the Vice Principal opened the door to the Principal's office and stepped inside, looking frantic. "Sir, I think there's something you should see."

"Now, now, no need for formalities! Call me- AHHH!" Mr. Yamamoto yelled. The Vice Principal had pulled up the blinds on the office window to reveal a completely unexpected sight below. The front schoolyard was filled with tents and booths and food carts. Lanterns were strung from the trees and Mr. Yamamoto could even make out a boxing ring near the center of all of this. People were crowded around laughing and enjoying the festivities. Some were even wearing festival kimonos.

"Wha…what's going on? I didn't approve a school festival today!" Mr. Yamamoto stuttered, his eyes bulging from his head.

"Oh, it's not the students." The Vice Principal explained. "It's the local businesses."

"Well what the heck are they doing here?" He demanded.

"I don't know Sir."

"Get them out of here!"

_DOWN IN THE SCHOOLYARD_

Daichi and Jatsuma had just arrived at school and were staring at the crowd of people with their mouths hanging wide open.

"WHAT ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?" Daichi screeched, expecting the worst.

"Well…uh…I'm sure it has nothing to do with you." Jatsuma assured him.

Just then Mousse rolled up a food cart that had 'Cat Café' written on the side. "Well Daichi, you're finally here! " He said to Jatsuma.

"Try a few inches to the left." Jatsuma said, smiling. Mousse looked off in the other direction. "I meant my left."

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" Daichi yelled.

"There you are!" Shampoo called, walking over. "Where you been? We've been waiting all morning."

"CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE HERE?"

"Well these fights used to always draw a large crowd of students. It's good business. Like a sporting event." Mousse explained.

"They're here to watch me fight!" Daichi said, turning a slight shade of green. "But…but how is that even possible? How do all these people even know-"

"You two have GOT to try these funnel cakes!" Ranma said as he appeared out of no where holding a funnel cake.

Daichi's eye twitched. "YOU!" He growled and pointed at his father. "YOU DID THIS!"

"Hey, I had nothing to do with all these people!" Ranma said, offended. "I just thought I'd come to watch your fight and there was a whole festival going on!"

"Actually, my daughter told me about the fight." A man walked over. "When I heard that a Saotome was fighting I just had to come see for myself. So I thought it would be fun to set up a booth for catching fish!" He held up a paper net.

Another man walked up. "Yeah, my daughter told me too. She said everyone was going to see this fight. I work for a wrestling agency so I borrowed a boxing ring for it! You can't see it from here, but if you head down this way and take a left-"

"WHO ARE YOU?" Daichi interrupted, extremely irritated.

"Daichi, these are some of my old friends from high school!" Ranma explained happily. "Daisuke and Hiroshi used to watch all the fights at our old high school!"

"Yeah!" Hiroshi said. "We just had to come out to see the legacy!"

"This is just like old times!" Daisuke laughed.

"Isn't that a funny coincidence?" Ranma asked.

"Hilarious." Daichi grunted.

"Jatsuma!" Mascara ran over to them, she was wearing a Cat Café waitress outfit. "Isn't this exciting? This is my first time at a Japanese festival!"

"It's not a festival! It's a conspiracy!" Daichi yelled.

"Yeah, it's a great cultural experience." Jatsuma said, ignoring Daichi. "Sooo" He smiled at Mascara. "When's your break?"

Mascara blushed and giggled.

It took Jatsuma a second to realize something was coming towards him, but he jumped back just in time to avoid Luffa's attack. "You are so tackles!" She yelled in rage.

"Now, now, Luffa! Let's not be hasty!" Jatsuma said as he took a step back, waving his hands in a non threatening manner. "Maybe we could discuss this over coffee?"

Luffa tried to hold back a smile that was quickly spreading across her face, but it was no use. "I'd love some coffee!"

"Great!" Jatsuma said. "...You do have a different break from Mascara, right?"

Luffa's eye twitched and her expression changed as fast as lightening. "I HATE YOU!" She punched him clear across the festival. The others watched him fly away.

"Jatsuma!" Mascara called in distress.

"Can't say he didn't deserve that." Ranma sighed. "Yes, Jatsuma still has a lot to learn about women."

"I think he missed a few basic lessons!" Daichi said.

"I'm not through with him yet!" Luffa yelled as she ran in the direction he was heading. "Do not hurt him!" Mascara called as she ran after her.

"Well, back to business!" Mousse pushed the cart after the girls.

"Ranma, you want some breakfast? It on the house!" Shampoo offered with a big smile on her face. Ranma sighed and put a finger on his temple.

"Come on!" Mousse said angrily as he grabbed Shampoo's arm and pulled her away.

"What you do?" Shampoo hit Mousse in the back of the head and stalked on ahead of him with an annoyed look on her face.

"You are so cruel!" Mousse followed after her, dragging the cart.

"_Anyway_…" Daichi said, gritting his teeth.

"WOW! A festival!" Makoto arrived next to him, dragging Iikiba along behind her.

"I can walk for myself you know!" Iikiba stood up and dusted himself off. "Ooh! A festival!"

"Looks like you lucked out Daichi!" Makoto said, smiling at him.

Daichi glared at them.

"WHAT THE-?" A familiar voice shouted.

Daichi looked around and saw that Setsuko had just arrived as well. He was just standing there staring at the festival in front of him with eyes as big as saucers. It took him a full thirty seconds to recover from the shock while Daichi, Ranma, Makoto and Iikiba just looked at him, unsure what to expect.

He slowly turned towards Daichi with a scowl on his face. "I see you're pretty confidant about this fight! But don't think this changes anything just because there are a few more people here!"

"What? I didn't do this!" Daichi yelled.

"That's Setsuko?" Ranma asked. "He doesn't look so tough!"

"Dad!"

Setsuko glared at them. "It's not too late to back down." He sneered. "If you give up now then I'll go easy on you!"

Daichi glowered back at him with a steadfast look on his face. "I'm not backing down."

Setsuko smiled. "Hm. Fine. I prefer to crush you myself anyway." He looked up at the big clock on the school building, 7:15. "I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

With that, Setsuko stalked off into the crowd of people.

"Little worm." Ranma glared after him.

Makoto turned back to Daichi with a look of concern on her face. "Daichi…if you lose then you have to give up on Lotion." She suddenly looked determined. "But if you give up the fight now then maybe you'll still have a chance with her!"

Daichi smiled. "Heh heh. You're realizing this now huh?"

"I'm serious!" She stomped her foot.

"This is just something I have to do." Daichi began to walk off. They watched him go for a few seconds before he tripped and rolled into one of the booths doing face painting. All the people who happened to be standing nearby were covered in colorful paint. The people screamed and scattered.

"His exits would be a lot more dramatic if the author would just cut to the next scene before he fell every time." Iikiba said. Ranma and Makoto nodded in agreement.

_BACK IN THE SCHOOL_

"Well today is the day you present your group projects!" Ms. Meadows announced. "Nervous Lotion?"

"Not so much." Lotion said, turning around to look at the empty classroom. For a second she could have sworn she saw a sagebrush roll by.

"It's early yet. I'm sure the other members of the science club will be here any minute for our morning meeting!"

"Ms. Meadows, I don't think anyone's coming. They're all down at that festival." Lotion said, indicating the window. "You'd think they'd make an announcement to let us know a school festival was coming up!"

"Festival?" Ms. Meadows ran to the window and stuck her head out to get a good look. "I love festivals!"

"Didn't you see it when was came in this morning?" Lotion asked with a raised eyebrow as she walked over to the window as well.

"Come on! Let's go!" Ms. Meadows grabbed Lotion by the wrist and pulled her into the hallway.

"Hey! Hold on!" Lotion yelled as she was tugged along.

_IN THE MIDST OF THE FESTIVAL_

"Alright Daichi. Just do your best. No pressure." Ranma said. He was outside of the ring just behind Daichi, who was standing in the corner of the boxing ring. Setsuko was standing in the opposite corner with his arms crossed, glaring at Daichi. Fold out chairs were set up in a circle around the ring so that the crowd could sit and watch.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Daichi wheezed.

"Just try to stay calm." Ranma reassured him. "No pressure."

"Would you stop saying that! It's making me MORE nervous!"

"Hey! When's this fight gonna start?" One of the ornery audience members yelled, one wearing a yellow construction helmet. "I gotta get back to work!"

"Bill, can't you try to relax? Enjoy this beautiful day?" Ted asked as he took a sip of his beer.

"We left Ryoga in charge so I don't think there's anything to worry about." Wallis added. He was sitting on the other side of Bill.

Bill snorted. "I don't trust that guy. There's something weird about him."

"You're just jealous that he's a way better demolitions worker than you." Ted sighed.

"I'm telling you! He ain't normal!"

"Alright! Alright, I believe you!" Ted chuckled, waving his hand passively. "Hey, maybe we should pick up some hog feed for him on the way back! HAHA!" He laughed loudly. Bill glowered at him.

"Oh come on!" Ted said, seeing Bill's expression. "Don't you think you're overreacting? You shouldn't judge a pig by the color of his skin. Heh heh." Ted chuckled.

"You are such a basterd!"

"You're never going to get a promotion with that attitude."

"Can't you two calm down?" Wallis asked. "I'm sure Ryoga is doing fine."

_AT THE CONSTRUCTION SITE_

Ryoga looked at the rubble that littered the area. Remnants of the building he had just destroyed using the breaking point technique.

"Man, I hope that was the right building."

_BACK AT THE RING_

"This can't end well." Jatsuma said. He was sitting in one of the seats around the ring with Makoto and Iikiba. "I hope Daichi knows what he's doing."

"Of course he doesn't!" Makoto said angrily. "He had to go and try to act all macho and get himself into trouble like an idiot!"

"Yeah, it's usually me." Iikiba said.

"You know, I can hear everything you're saying!" Daichi snapped. Makoto looked like she was about to say something back but she was interrupted before she could say anything.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Mr. Yamamoto yelled as he pushed his way through the crowd, towards the boxing ring. "Fighting is not allowed on school premises! And this festival is completely unauthorized! You're all trespassing! I demand you vacate the area immediately!"

A few people gave him glares and confused looks. Most just ignored him and went about their business.

"Who's that guy?" Jatsuma asked.

"He's the new principal, Mr. Yamamoto." Makoto explained.

"We have a new principal? Since when?"

"Since last week when they announced it at the school assembly, idiot." Iikiba said, grinning slightly. "Don't you ever pay attention?"

"Oh, don't even start acting like you know everything, Iikiba." Jatsuma said. "You didn't even know what a polo shirt was."

"SHUT UP!"

Daichi growled and put his hands over his ears. All their rambling was really distracting him from the task at hand. He had to try to stay focused. Setsuko was standing only a few yards away looking annoyed, he obviously wasn't impressed with Daichi's cheering section. He noticed Daichi looking in his direction and smiled like a cat would smile at a cornered mouse. Daichi was relieved when Ranma tapped on his shoulder so he could look away.

"Two minutes, Daichi." Ranma said, indicating his watch. "Just remember your training."

"I should call the exterminator then?"

"Now is not the time for sarcasm!"

"HELLO! DIDN'T ANYONE HEAR ME?" Mr. Yamamoto yelled to the unlistening crowd. "I WANT EVERYONE OUT OF HERE! NOW- …What are you doing? I told you to clear these people out!" He yelled towards the Vice Principal who was sitting in one of the fold out chairs and eating a funnel cake. He was now wearing a festival kimono, his face was painted and in the seat next to him was a huge stuffed purple teddy bear with a balloon tied around its paw.

"Well, I was. But then I tried this funnel cake and…I guess I got a little carried away. You have GOT to try it!" He held up the funnel cake to the principal.

Mr. Yamamoto snatched it away angrily. "What kind of Vice Principal are you? Getting distracted by a stupid funnel cake!" He tore off a small piece and put it in his mouth. A second later his eyes grew wide. "Dear God! That's the best thing I've ever tasted!" He tore off a larger chunk and stuffed it into his mouth.

"You can sit here if you want." The Vice Principal moved the purple bear from its chair to the ground.

"Cool." Mr. Yamamoto took the seat as he gobbled down another piece of funnel cake.

DING! The start bell rang. Daichi was taken off guard; he hadn't realized there was a bell. So of course he tripped out of surprise. "Gah!" He fell just as Setsuko's fist flew by, inches above his head. But about a millisecond later Daichi had to roll away to avoid Setsuko's foot.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" The audience, led by Ted, began chanting.

Daichi grabbed hold of one of the thick elastic wires around the ring to steady himself. _I've got to get a hold of myself!_ He thought in a panic.

"Look out!" Ranma yelled.

Daichi spun around quickly, slipping on his own feet in the process, and again narrowly avoiding Setsuko's attack.

"HOLD STILL!" Setsuko continued to throw out attack after attack and Daichi continued to just barely dodge; mostly by accident, as he had lost all sense of balance but still fought to stay on his feet.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The crowd continued. "Throw a punch already!" Jatsuma's voice came through, muffled by the shouts.

"What? I can barely even stand up!" Daichi yelled back.

* * *

Yeah, the polo shirt joke was something that actually happened with me and my sister. I didn't know what a polo shirt was. Of course I had seen then, but I had never identified them as being a special kind of shirt with their own name and everything. My sister went well out of her way to explain what a polo shirt was. She was so astonished and appalled that I didn't know! Heh heh 


	9. The Weirdest Battle Ever

(Sigh) The end of another story. It does my heart good. The next Generation Fic story should start going up next Saturday. I'm not going to be here for a week because some of my friends and I are going to New York over spring break! Whoo!

**THE WEIRDEST BATTLE EVER**

_NOT FAR AWAY_

"Come on! Just try once." Ms. Meadows urged Lotion as she walked through the festival holding the goldfish she had just won.

"I am NOT entering a pie eating contest!" Lotion yelled in aggravation. "I'm just going to find the other members of the Science club so I can tell them off! Then I'm going back to class!"

"You're no fun."

"I just don't like festivals! Is that a crime? They're a little childish."

Ms. Meadows looked off down the pathway towards a large gathering of people yelling 'fight' over and over again. "Well…I guess I can concede that. Look at all those full grown men and women acting like they're back in middle school, egging on a fight. I hope the police break it up."

"Yeah, that's just what I-" Lotion's head snapped up and her eye grew a size wider. _No way. I must be seeing things. _"Is that who I think it is?" She pointed towards the ring.

"GAH!" Daichi fell into the elastic bands and sprang back away from Setsuko, who was in hot pursuit.

"IT IS!" Lotion yelled. She ran towards the ring, pushing her way past the people.

"Wait for me!" Ms. Meadows ran after her.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Daichi slipped across the ring, away from Setsuko again. But instead of running after him, Setsuko stopped for moment to catch his breath. "This is starting to get annoying!" He shouted. "Are you TRYING not to fight?"

In all honesty Daichi was just astounded that he wasn't pulp yet. He hadn't fought back because every time he moved he lost sense of what was up and down. The adrenaline pumping through his veins didn't exactly calm him either. He grabbed hold of the elastic band to stand up again.

"Daichi!" Makoto called. Daichi didn't look back at first but then he heard Iikiba and Jatsuma trying to get his attention too.

He turned and saw they were pointing franticly towards… LOTION! "AHH! NO!" He shouted. She was quickly making her way to them. Daichi stood stunned, his brain suddenly shut down.

The moment that Daichi looked away, Setsuko took advantage of his opponent's distraction. He ran forward and grabbed Daichi by the collar and pushed him roughly into one of the posts holding up the bands. The crowd gasped.

"It's over now!" Setsuko sneered. "You never really had a chance!" He drew back to punch.

"SETSUKO!" Lotion yelled angrily. She climbed up into the ring; her face was contorted in fury. Setsuko froze. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" She stomped towards them.

Daichi just stared with his mouth hanging open slightly; his brain hadn't started working again yet. Setsuko stood in a similar state until she was much closer, then he jumped away from Daichi. "Lo- Lotio-"

"So this is it!" Lotion shouted accusingly. "This is what Daichi was trying to warn me about! He didn't want me to get mixed up with a guy like you! What? Do you just go around beating up on innocent people!" She kept walking towards him and he kept backing away.

"No, no I-"

"Daichi hasn't done a thing! He's not a martial artist! Why then, you jerk! And after all that talk about how you hated violence!"

"I, he-" Setsuko was backed up against the elastic bands. The crowd was watching, agape.

"I've never met anyone so two-faced! Just GET OUT OF HERE!" Lotion screamed. Setsuko lost his balance and fell back out of the ring. He landed with an 'ouff' on the ground, all of his pride evaporated.

Daichi stood frozen in the same position he had been for the last minute. But now Ranma, Jatsuma, Makoto, Iikiba and the rest of the people watching had the same expression.

"Holy crap!" Jatsuma yelled.

Lotion folded her arms with a "hmph" as she continued to glare at Setsuko for a moment. A few more moments passed before anyone dared to say anything.

"So…uh…the fight's over?" Ted asked.

"The fight is over!" Lotion confirmed. This statement was followed by some half hearted protests from the audience.

"You…you heard her!" Ranma said in agreement. "The fight's over! Go on!"

The audience slowly began to disperse with angry groans and boos. "Well that sucked." Bill said as he and the other construction workers went on their way.

"Daichi? Hello?" Makoto waved a hand in front of his face. "Are you okay?"

"I…I'm alive?" Daichi asked, his brain starting up again.

"Alive? Yes. Dignified? Not so much." Jatsuma said.

Lotion turned and looked back at Daichi, and then she swiftly walked towards him. "Daichi!"

Daichi twitched badly and turned his red face away. He had never been more embarrassed in his whole life. He didn't care what all those people thought, but surely Lotion would think he was a total wuss.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she kneeled down next to him. Jatsuma and Makoto moved away and tried to listen while pretending they weren't.

"Y-Yeah." Daichi said, still not looking at her.

"That was so brave!" Lotion exclaimed.

Daichi snapped his head to look at her. "HUH?"

"HUH?" Both Jatsuma and Makoto turned back to them. Daichi glared at them and they quickly went back to pretending like they weren't listening.

"You two need a hobby." Iikiba said. He was still sitting in his seat eating a funnel cake.

"You took a stand!" Lotion continued with enthusiasm. "Even though Setsuko was beating on you, you refused to give into those violent tendencies!"

"I did? I mean, I guess I did." Daichi said.

"You know, anyone else would have tried to punch him back. But you turned the other cheek! And that was really brave of you!"

Daichi smiled happily. He couldn't believe it! He just couldn't believe it! Maybe his luck was finally changing.

"Come on. Let's get you to the nurse." Lotion took his arm and put it over her shoulders so he could stand up. She led him out of the ring, through the crowd and towards the school.

"Well, what do you know?" Makoto said as she watched them go. "Looks like things worked out."

"Not quite." Jatsuma said. "Come on Iikiba."

"What? What do I need to do?" Iikiba asked in an agitated voice.

"Would you just come?" Jatsuma persisted. With a grunt Iikiba set down his funnel cake and followed Jatsuma around to the other side of the ring, where Setsuko was still laying on the ground in a daze.

Setsuko saw them coming and quickly scrambled to his feet. "What? Come to tell me off?"

"No. We're here to beat the crud out of you!" Jatsuma glared at him. "I seem to recall you kicking me in the face and smashing Iikiba into a wall."

"Hey! Yeah!" Iikiba agreed, suddenly remembering.

"Oh." Setsuko said. Then he sneered again. "Fine then! Bring it-" Just then they jumped him. "AHHH!" A moment later he was kicked into the lower stratosphere.

"He really deserved that one." Ranma said as he watched him fly away. "Everyone could use a good kick into the stratosphere every now and then."

"That's either the coolest or weirdest thing you have ever said." Makoto said to her father.

_IN ANOTHER PART OF THE FESTIVAL_

"Nihao! Get some hot ramen here! We have much variety!" Shampoo called to potential customers as she pushed their Cat Café cart along.

A spark appeared in the sky and about a second later Setsuko fell, screaming, from the sky. "AAAAHHHHH!"

Shampoo looked up just in time to see him land on and demolish the food cart in front of her. "Aiya! What you do stupid boy? You ruined all my food!"

Setsuko sat up stiffly and pulled the noodles out of his hair. "How did-?" Just then he turned and saw Shampoo glaring angrily at him.

"Well? What you got to say for yourself?" She said.

Setsuko's whole face turned red. She was older, but she was much much MUCH prettier than Lotion!

He stood up and tried to look as dignified as he could after being punted into a foot cart. "I'm VERY sorry, Miss! It won't happen again!" He bowed slightly to show respect.

"Hmph. I should hope so. Now I have to get Mousse clean up this mess!" Shampoo tromped off towards the last place she had seen Mousse.

Setsuko sighed deeply as she watched her go. "I always liked older women anyway."

_LATER, AFTER SCHOOL (Yes, they still had school.)_

Daichi and Jatsuma were walking home, both with a satisfied look on their face.

"So it looks like things turned out for the better after all." Jatsuma said. "After all that worrying everything went just great! You should try to be more care free."

"If I were as care free as you I would never get anything done." Daichi said, though he still had a big smile on his face.

"What did I tell you? Just beat the crud out of 'um! Works every time!"

"That's not how it went at all! It was NOT fighting that solved everything!"

"Yeah, but if you hadn't challenged him in the first place then you wouldn't have gotten the chance to not fight him!" Jatsuma persisted.

"The weird thing is that I understood that." Daichi sighed. "Look, I didn't fight and everything turned out for the better. Can you see some moral here?"

"Say you'll do things and then don't follow up?" Jatsuma asked.

"ARRH! Why do I-" Right in front of him a string attached to a manhole cover went tount. The cover lifted up at just the right moment for Daichi to fall right down to the sewer.

"AAHHH! Oh God! It REALLY smells down here! God!" Jatsuma could hear Daichi splashing around down below.

Yuri came out of her hiding place behind a tree and some bushes. Her fan boys stayed back there and kept a hold of the string. She strutted over to the manhole and looked down at Daichi below.

"Hmh, hmh." She cleared her throat and took a small breath. "Don't yell at me." She said with a glare that sent a shiver down Daichi's spine. With that Yuri returned to her fan boys who let go of the string so the manhole cover fell back into place.

* * *

As it turns out Ms. Meadows was so tickled by the festival that she forgot all about the group projects. 


End file.
